October… Surprise! Surprise, Surprise… Surprise…


This month has been the ULTIMATE microcosm of the 2016 Presidential Election.  And I am as tired of it as I am of this entire ridiculous election.  Ridiculous not because I’m tired of hearing about an election between two bad candidates or a bullshit argument of this being the lesser of two evils(hint: it isn’t).  I’m tired because of the exact opposite.  I am tired of people thinking this election is anything close to two equals of anything.  I’m tired of seeing an overly qualified female compete with a shitty male for a job he is uniquely under qualified to do.  I’m also tired of the media putting the things Hillary Clinton might have done on the same level as all the ignorant, egotistically, morally and politically corrupt crap Donald Trump has said and done.  This is NOT a real comparison.

But this month is especially stupid.  Last Friday, the Director of the FBI, James Comey informed congress of a new cache of emails linked to Hillary Clinton.  These emails(which they found out about a month ago BTW but waited until a week before the election to say something) were found on a computer belonging to former Congressman Anthony Weiner.  Weiner, who is being investigated because of a child sexting scandal, is married to Clinton aid, Huma Abedin.  So because of this, Donald Trump, who had literally the day before claimed the FBI(like the election, every primary state he lost, U.S. District judges, Emmy Awards and everything else that doesn’t benefit him) is rigged.  The very next day he changes his mind and says maybe it wasn’t rigged.  All because the FBI found emails that may or may not be relevant to an investigation that was closed months ago.

And over the last few days, the media has gone a batshit crazy over this, talking about this being the “October Surprise” that could ruin the electoral chances of Hillary Clinton.  For those that aren’t familiar, an “October Surprise” in politics is a news story that breaks a few weeks before an election that has a chance to affect voter perceptions enough to sway said election.  Like an aid of President Johnson getting arrested for “disorderly conduct” in a restroom with another man or Mitt Romney’s 47% comment in 2012.  So here we sit, just barely a week until the election and this story breaks and it’s like Mana from Heaven for Donald Trump’s trainwreck of a candidacy and a media that’s needing something else to feast on other than Donald Trump’s trainwreck of a candidacy.

And the news is calling this the October Surprise… the October Surprise of 2016.  Except it ain’t.

Of course if this were any other presidential election, Hillary Clinton, who may or may not be as typical of any presidential candidate we’ve seen, might be waylaid by this “surprising” find.  But she is running against, of all people, Donald Trump.  And before anyone should dare give a stank eye to ANYTHING Hillary Clinton did in the last days of October for her surprise, there is LITERALLY an entire MONTH of surprises that Donald Trump surprised voters with from the very first day!

It’s been a long month. So… In case you forgot…

SURPRISE!  The month could hardly begin with Trump in a Twitter War(of his own making) with a former pageant contestant.  Yeah, but…

SUPRISE!  The month actually starts with the New York Times releasing a story stating that Donald Trump, who has dogged people not paying taxes, has not paid federal income taxes in 20 years, which he would actually confirm.  Not sexy enough?  Well…

SURPRISE!  A week later Access Hollywood releases a video of Donald Trump BRAGGING about sexually assaulting women.  And to no one’s surprise…

SURPRISE!  Since Donald Trump’s on-camera admission no less than TWELVE women have come forward to corroborate Donald Trump’s own story about him grabbing them, shoving his tongue down their throats, cornering them and bursting in on them while undressed.  Oh by the way…

SURPRISE!  One of those women was a 13-year old girl who has a claim that Donald Trump and another former associate and convicted child molester raped her for which he was given a court date for.  Also, let’s not forget…

SURPRISE!  Donald Trump is stoking the Birtherism fever he kept alive for five years by questioning the legitimacy of Barack Obama’s Presidency yet again.  But wait, there’s more…

SURPRISE!  Donald Trump has set his own reality where not only did he state that if he loses the election it was because someone cheated by claiming it’s rigged or if he wins he has vowed to pursue a criminal investigation to jail his opponent, Hillary Clinton, thereby threatening the entire fabric of what the United States of America is built on.  Democracy.

All of this is just one month, folks! Any ONE of those would have wrecked your typical campaign.  But Donald Trump and his candidacy has been so ludicrous and abysmally wretched that we’ve become irritatingly desensitized to the detestable shitshow we see on t.v. every night.  And I’m supposed to be worried about some emails that Hillary Clinton DIDN’T send being found on someone else’s computer!?!

That isn’t an October Surprise.

Donald Trump IS the October Surprise!


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